10 Things That Should Never (EVER) Be Pumpkin Spiced

I remember first trying pumpkin spice when it was just a pumpkin spice drink. Not bad. Then someone came out with a pumpkin spice muffin. Okay, yeah that was good.   

Then it got weird: 

pumpkin spice coffee, tea,  pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels, “Pumpkin Smash” smoothie, pumpkin spice canned draft latté, pumpkin spice Cheerios, Werther’s Original pumpkin spice soft caramels, Life pumpkin spice cereal, Milano pumpkin spice cookies, MaxPro Elite pumpkin spice protein powder, pumpkin spice flavor dog treats, pumpkin spice pretzels, pumpkin pie ice cream, Little Debbie pumpkin spice cake rolls, “Spiced pumpkin pie” Clif bars, Pumpkin spice Oreos, Simply Beyond pumpkin spice spray-on spice (seasoning spray), Coffee-Mate pumpkin spice coffee creamer, pumpkin spice blended Greek yogurt, pumpkin spice bagels and schmear (cream cheese), Pumpkin spice Jell-O pudding, pumpkin spice flax granola bars, sparkling pumpkin spice beverage, Dunkin’ Donuts pumpkin donut, pumpkin spice milk chocolate truffles, pumpkin spice caramel corn, Land O’Lakes pumpkin pie spice butter spread, Pumpkin spice Quaker Instant Oatmeal, milk chocolate pumpkin spice caramel squares, pumpkin spice cream cheese, pumpkin spice marshmallows, pumpkin spice almonds, pumpkin spice coconut milk, pumpkin spice popcorn, Kellogg’s pumpkin spice Frosted Mini-Wheats, Pumpkin spice Peeps, Corsair pumpkin spice moonshine, pumpkin spice breakfast biscuits, pumpkin spice fig bars, Pumpkin Spice VEGAN Laundry Soap Powder! - OH PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

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ENOUGH ALREADY!

Here are 10 things that should never be Pumpkin Spiced.

JUST SAY NO!

1) Pumpkin Spice Beer

Especially you guys out there. I will rip up your man card.

2) Pumpkin Spice fabric softener

We don't need people walking around all day reeking of that. Please DON'T.

3) Pumpkin Spice hand soap

We all know what real soap smells like. That is what God intended. Don't you dare!

4) Pumpkin Spice toilet paper

You can get this as a gag gift. You write your own jokes on this one. I'm sure there's enough material here to keep you busy all day.

5) Pumpkin Spice potato chips

These things do exist and someone needs to go to jail for even suggesting it.

6) Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn

I love this Halloween treat. Many people hate it. If they are made of Pumpkin Spice everyone will hate it.

7) Pumpkin Spice deodorant

Yes, you can buy this stuff, and NO -  your pits were never meant to smell like that.

8) Pumpkin Spice kitty litter

I looked it up. IT IS REALLY OUT THERE. Please stop. I'd rather smell the cat poop.

9) Pumpkin Spice pizza

That would start a HUGE argument with the pineapple on pizza people and we would never hear the end of it.

10) Pumpkin Spice toothpaste

I looked it up. This stuff is out there. I WANT TO KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE AND I WANT THEM DEALT WITH!