No Bones About It, Guilty – Redneck Headlines

A drunk who tried to hold up a bank near Normandy, France, couldn't even manage a brief escape – because a teller had no trouble recognizing him through the underwear he was trying to use as a mask.

Daniel Anfrey was spotted by an employee who knew him from his regular visits to the branch, and calmly told him that he should hand over his weapon – a pocket knife – and forget about the heist. Anfrey had just been released from jail after serving a stint for drunk driving, and told cops, “I was completely lost when I got out of prison. I only wanted to go into town, but it got out of hand.”

He's been sentenced to four months in prison and ordered to abstain from alcohol while on probation. (The Local)

Three German men face stiff prison sentences after stealing a van with 12 dead bodies stashed in the back.

The men swiped the vehicle from a rest area parking lot where the driver had stopped to wash his hands – an understandable need, since he'd just loaded the corpses in for a trip to the crematorium. The coffins were found about a week later in a desolate stretch of woods near the German-Polish border, with the bodies undisturbed inside.

The ghostly trio could have been locked up for decades, but the judge believed they had no clue about what a grave mistake they'd made and only charged them with vehicular theft. They'll be rotting in jail for two-to-four years. (UPI)