Now That Takes The Cupcake! – Redneck Headlines

Take That Job And Shovel It

A Florida firefighter did not dig the reception he got when he went to put out a trash fire in the backyard of a Port Charlotte home - because the deranged homeowner hit him over the head with a shovel.

By the time the fire department arrived at the scene, the blaze had been fed with a mattress, blinds, a ceiling fan and several other home appliances - and Gregory Sean Turner was standing by watching the flames rise. When the firefighter turned a hose on the conflagration, Turner began stalking toward him and, not noticing that he was also caught in the spray, smacked him with the shovel.

A cop summoned to the scene deployed a Taser and then handcuffed Turner, who said that he'd started the fire and it was his to do with as he pleased.

Source: WWSB

Polly Gets A Fork, Man Goes To Jail

A 63-year-old Everett, Washington man put a fork in it - and now he's going to pay the price.

Richard J. Atkinson fatally stabbed his ex-girlfriend's pet parrot of 18 years with a fork. According to the Daily Herald, he pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and domestic-violence malicious mischief in the August 19th episode.

Atkinson's lawyer claimed that his client doesn't remember what happened, but it might have been brought on by a mix of whiskey and anti-anxiety medication.

The judge in the case ordered Atkinson to undergo a psychiatric review and pay his ex-girlfriend for her parrot and other damaged belongings - and he can't own any animals for five years, but apparently he can still use forks.

Source: AP