Scared To Death – Redneck Headlines

Robert Boudreaux was driving his girlfriend to the hospital when his car ran out of gas. After walking several miles, his girlfriend began feeling dehydrated and started to bleed, so he picked her up and carried her for as long as he could. Up until now he sounds like a hero. But then he decided to abandon all common sense, which would have told him to use his working cell phone to maybe call 911.

Instead, he walked into the path of a moving car, demanded that the driver take them to the hospital and threatened to shoot him if he didn't. Minutes later the driver jumped out of the car and Boudreaux sped off with it. When they arrived at the hospital, his girlfriend was taken into the emergency room and waiting cops took Boudreaux away in cuffs. By the way, this was the 19th time he's been arrested. (Sun Sentinal)

The Man-Eating Squirrel Defense

A drunk driver in Florida tried to get out of an arrest by claiming that he his car was swerving because there was a man-eating squirrel in his shirt.

Warren Michael was pulled over by cops who noticed his car driving erratically. He then handed over a live squirrel, which he claimed was trying to eat him.

Cops aren't sure why the furry rodent was in his shirt, and they didn't care. What they did care about was the smell of alcohol on his breath and his inability to pass a sobriety test. He was arrested and taken to jail. His car and his squirrel were handed over to his girlfriend. (News 4 Jacksonville)