The Devil Made Him Redecorate – Redneck Headlines

Washington state cops are grilling a man who was caught pricking strangers' sausages – ruining nearly $20,000 worth of meat with a hypodermic syringe.

The man, whose name was not released, went to the meat department of his local Wal-Mart and began poking at the sausages, leaving the syringe stuck in one before getting his buns out of there. Cops traced him to his home, where he was taken into custody, then for a medical exam, since he had an infection inflaming his hand.

It wasn't immediately clear how many sausages the man had violated, but store managers cordoned off the entire meat section and ordered that $19,000 worth of merchandise be destroyed. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

Police in Pennsylvania looking for a man accused of groping a fast food drive-thru employee didn't have to work too hard to find their man. All they had to do was follow the trail of curly fries.

Cops were called to an Arby's in Lancaster after a female employee claims a man reached out of his driver's side window and groped her as she leaned out the drive-thru window. She gave a description of the man's car, which police were able to track down parked outside a nearby motel. They then followed a trail of curly fries and sauce packets from the car to his room inside the motel. He was charged with indecent assault. (NBC New York)

An Oklahoma man took extreme home makeover to a whole new level by covering his walls in blood, bleach and other substances, then using the Bible to start a fire – before telling cops he was "just remodeling" the place.

Cops responding to a call about a disturbance found Jeremy Jarnell Anderson "going ballistic," breaking windows and dousing himself in salt and detergent. As they tried to calm him down, he began throwing furniture out the window and screaming about a "homosexual demon" that had forced him to toss the Bible on the stove for cooking.

After Anderson was taken to a hospital, he said he “wasn’t gay, just high” and when he came to his senses, he couldn’t believe he let the male demon touch him. (KFOR)