The Meowing Dead – Redneck Headlines

A Florida man put a spin on the old Robin Hood tale – by stealing from the sober to give to the drunk!

Randall Brown, whose rap sheet now boasts 50 arrests, was busted after a restaurant manager saw him hop a fence carrying six bottles of pricey booze – which turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg. An examination of surveillance tapes showed that Brown had walked off with nearly $1000 worth of liquor in the days before his arrest – which he was generous enough to pass out to a dozen or so pals in Williams Park who were also intent on passing out. (Tampa Bay Times)

An Indiana man has vowed that winning a lottery jackpot won't change the way he looks at life and to prove it, he intends to remain homeless and sleeping in public parks.

Dennis Mahurin won $50,000 on a one-dollar instant card, which he scratched off in his tent. He says that he wasn't sure exactly what he'd won, or even if he was a winner, since he went back to the gas station where he bought the ticket and told the clerk he thought he'd won a thousand bucks.

"She said, 'Nope,'" Mahurin recalls. "And I said, 'Oh, I messed up.' When she said it was 50 thousand, I almost fell over."

He says he plans to give a hundred bucks to each of his homeless friends and have some dental work done, but insists, "I'm living in a tent, happy as can be in my nature." (Yahoo News)

Pedestrians in New York's Times Square were mesmerized at the sight of a zombie stalking across the blocks in pursuit of a cat, which he caught and promptly... took to a veterinarian who reunited it with its owner after a separation of two years.

Jeremy Zelkowitz, who dresses as a zombie to promote a nearby haunted house attraction, says he spotted the emaciated and frightened looking feline and immediately put aside his taste for brains in order to rescue it. He says “It was a black cat, so some people looked kind of freaked out. I told [the vet] right away, ‘Look, I'm not crazy. I work at the haunted house.'"

It turned out that the kitty, who was named Disaster, had run away from home more than two years ago, and owner Jimmy Helliesen, a New York cop, says he never thought they'd be reunited, until the vet checked the microchip and rang him up with the good news. (New York Daily News)