Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - A Bitter Pill to Swallow
#2 - That Boy Ain't Right
#3 - Two All Beef Patties, One Jail Cell

An Iowa man probably should have taken a chill pill before calling cops – because he ended up behind bars for dialing 911 to complain that he'd been stiffed on a deal to illegally sell pain-killers to a friend.

Daniel Noehl Sr. phoned the fuzz to moan that he'd handed over more than 200 pills, which should've netted him about $300, but ended up empty handed. When his first call didn't get the intended results, he called three more times to ask what was taking them so long to get there.

When deputies arrived to take Noehl's statement, he told them he didn't know it was illegal to sell prescription drugs, and said he needed the cash to buy groceries. A search of his home turned up a recently-used crack pipe, which he admitted was his. (Iowa City Press Citizen)

 

An Iowa man took a detour to toon town on his way to jail after screaming for help on the banks of a rural creek – then telling responding officers that his name was "Peggy Hill ... from Arlington, Texas."

The 18-year-old, who actually had no relationship to the cast of King of The Hill, was identified as Sean Siegert once he was pulled out of the water, but that didn't end the animated exchange. He then told deputies that he was trying to get their attention because he was searching for four Girl Scouts that he lost while trying to help them earn merit badges.

Siegert, who showed signs of intoxication, was taken into custody. Cops searched the area for Girl Scouts – but none were located. (Iowa City Press Citizen)

 

A Cleveland-area man was forced to trade the Golden Arches for some silver bracelets after he fled a traffic stop to lead cops on a chase so he could finish his Big Mac.

Randall Miller was driving recklessly as he pulled out of the Mickey D's parking lot, leading witnesses to call cops, who tried to pull him over, only to have him floor it and speed away. When an officer finally did manage to flag Miller down, he noticed the 31-year-old appeared intoxicated, a suspicion that was confirmed when he said he was "too drunk and he just wanted to eat his Big Mac before he stopped."

 Miller's blood alcohol content registered three times the legal limit, leading to charges of drunk driving and fleeing an officer. (UPI)

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