VIDEO: Wyoming, Behold the Trailer for ‘Cocaine Bear’
In Wyoming, we're no strangers to bears, nor are we strangers to bear attacks. In fact, we've written a few stories recently about those bear attacks, including one story of college students literally fighting a bear to save their friend.
The students walked away from that fight, but some people don't. Especially if they're fighting a bear that is high on illegal narcotics.
Wyoming is home to both black bears and grizzly bears. But we've never seen...a Cocaine Bear.
Luckily, Wyomingites have never had to deal with a bear that was high on cocaine.
BUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE!
Cocaine Bear is a film from Universal Pictures that covers the true story of, as the title implies, a bear that accidentally got high on cocaine.
According to legend (or, like, The Washington Post) the true story of 'Pablo Escobear' (heh. Cocaine bear puns), happened in Knoxville, Tennessee in 1985 when a drug dealer dropped a duffle bag of cocaine out of a Cessna twin-engine plane. His plan was to return to it later, but he died before he could.
Even if he made it, however, he may have had to fight a black bear for it. The bear somehow stumbled across the duffle bag, opened it, and consumed about three to four grams of the narcotic before OD'ing and dying.
According to The Guardian, "The medical examiner who performed an autopsy on the bear said the cause of death was: 'Cerebral haemorrhaging, respiratory failure, hyperthermia, renal failure, heart failure, stroke. You name it, that bear had it.' Its stomach was 'literally packed to the brim with cocaine', he said. 'There isn’t a mammal on the planet who could survive that.'
Clearly, the medical examiner had never met Keith Richards. Or our Uncle Tony. He doesn't get invited to Christmas anymore.
Alas, unlike the movie, this Cocaine Bear didn't go on a rampage, massacring men, women, and children. He just did what most of us do when we're on drugs, which is curl up into a little ball, think about how much he disappointed his dad, fall asleep and never wake up.
But let's not let truth get in the way of a good story! Elizabeth Banks sure isn't, and her horror comedy, aptly and simply titled 'Cocaine Bear,' is due in theaters in February of 2023.
Cocaine Bear stars Ray Liotta in his last role before his untimely death (a fitting tribute, no doubt), Keri Russell, and Alden Ehrenreich. In the wrong hands, this film could have been a disaster waiting to happen. But somehow, some way, Banks made it work. At least going off of the trailer, this movie looks hilarious.
In fact, as The Guardian puts it, this film looks like "it is exactly the sort of film you should see if your primary cinematic interests are bears and cocaine."
Good enough for us, count us in!
The trailer for the film can be seen below, but brace yourself. It's everything you would expect a movie called 'Cocaine Bear' to be about. There's cocaine. There's bears. What more do you need? It's cinematic gold and we've already purchased our tickets.