Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Cause For Alarm
#2 - String 'Em Up!
#3 - Yule Be Sorry

Cause For Alarm

A Florida woman was barefoot and claimed to be pregnant – but that didn't stop cops from arresting her on disorderly conduct charges for drunkenly setting off fire alarms and pounding on strangers' doors at a Holiday Inn.

51-year-old Marilyn Porcaro told deputies she was running around the motel in her bra and panties causing a ruckus because her hormones were all jacked up by pregnancy. Since she wasn't showing any signs of a baby on board, the officers decided to delve a little deeper, at which point Porcaro admitted she'd also downed a six-pack of Budweiser.

Well, she was conceivably drinking for two. (TC Palm)


String 'Em Up!

Cops are on the lookout for two suspects who robbed a convenience store clerk with the deadliest of weapons – a ukulele!

The man and woman, described as white and in their early 20s, entered a store attached to a gas station and tried to sneak off with some bottles of Olde English malt liquor, but were spotted by the clerk, who went over to confront them. When the worker said he planned to call 911 if the pair didn't hit the road immediately, the male pulled out a ukulele and cold-cocked him.

The victim suffered a severe scalp laceration. The suspects fled before officers arrived. And the ukulele? It was destroyed. (


Yule Be Sorry

A Canadian football team has been heating things up a little too much for their town's fire department, which was dispatched to put out a fire that turned out to be a Yule Log video shown on the stadium scoreboard.

The Saskatchewan Roughriders used the video to warm the hearts of fans, but some folks outside the venue apparently got hot under the collar and called 911 to report that the building was burning. After negotiating with team ownership, fire officials have managed to get them to snuff out the Yule log and agree to replace it with something else – "snowflakes or Santa or something like that." (CBC)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.