Ethan Miller, Getty Images

Okay, so once again I sacrifice myself for the sake and sanity of our My Country listeners. Even though I was dead tired after work and still extremely bitter over my lottery loss, I went home and watched my prerecorded Academy of County Music Awards broadcast. I thought it was a good show, but I have more questions than I have answers. Here are my top 11.


11)  Why the hell was KISS there?! While I'm at it, Why the hell was Gene Simmon's (the demon's) codpiece so small?!

10)  Why even though the show was shown on CBS, did they insist on incorporating the stars of their shows into the awards?!  For instance, I think this was LL Cool J's 2nd appearance at one of these, and I couldn't stand the voice or the dress of the Two Broke Girls girl.

  9)  If you're going to include the great Steve Martin and spotlight his award-winning banjo playing - Why don't you ACTUALLY spotlight it?! C'mon, give him a solo! I know Gary called him out, but I thought Steve would've been more comfortable backing KISS.

  8)  Why did it take nearly 40 minutes to present the first award?!  Seriously, they could have included  more of the winners that received no camera time and knocked that sucker down so I was only up until 2 a.m. instead of 3!

  7)  Why did Blake and Miranda both decide to get the ugliest tattoos they could find put on their forearms?!  

  6)  Why wasn't the late Earl Scruggs given a more fitting tribute?!

  5)  Why is Brad Paisley so freakin' cool?!

  4)  Why was the incredibly freakin' cool Brad Paisley allowed to go home empty-handed?!

  3)  Why was Miranda Lambert allowed to perform Over You in a dress that from the waist down resembled a half-shorn Portuguese Water Dog?!

  2)  Speaking of  #10 - Why was the philandering Ashton Kutcher allowed to make a mockery of the event by wearing that stupid jacket and by dedicating an off-key rendition of the chorus of George Strait's I Cross My Heart to the losers in the female vocalist category?!

...And Cowboy's number one WHY from the Academy of Country Music Awards...

  1)  Why in the world wasn't I invited?!  From what I've told you, I think I would've fit right in!

   Honorable mention goes to "Why didn't Wayne Newton (who was right there) get as close to Toby Keith as Carrot Top did, during Red Solo Cup?!


What part of the awards were you most uncomfortable with?